


Failure

by Crazyhotsoup



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Major Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:15:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27563635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazyhotsoup/pseuds/Crazyhotsoup
Summary: major spoilers for the whole game, everybody
Kudos: 7





	Failure

"Don't you see what's happening? Don't you know what you did again? Can't you see that you're awful?"

He did see. 

He knew. 

He saw what he was doing. 

He saw that he was hurting folks.

He saw that he was draining. 

He saw that Hosea had been desperately trying to tell him that he was hurting folks. 

He was hurting again, and he wanted to change. 

Of course, he wanted to change, he wasn't a monster. 

Of course, he could see what he was doing wrong. 

Of course, he heard what folks were telling him. 

He heard what Hosea said. 

He heard what Annabel had said. 

He heard what Arthur had said. 

And yet? 

He needed to know he wasn't wrong. 

But he was wrong. 

He was so very very very wrong. 

He needed validation, but it would be lies to say he wasn't a monster. 

He had ignored them all. 

He had continued it. 

He had shot a girl who didn't need to be shot. 

He had, instead of lying low, robbed a train. 

He had moved them south, and gotten them in trouble. Again. 

And then when that didn't work out? 

He got them in trouble farther east. 

And when that didn't work? 

Why he moved them north. 

He had shot a man who he didn't need to shoot. 

He had pushed the Wapiti to fight. 

He had gotten them killed. 

He pushed. 

And pulled.

And hurt. 

He hurt. 

That's what it boiled down to. 

Dutch Van der Linde, revered leader of the Van der Linde gang, was a violent, distant, angry, cold, bastard. 

Arthur. 

He had gotten his son killed. 

He hadn't cared when he was suffering. 

He hadn't even bothered to look. 

He had just pushed him. 

He had just pushed him to his limit and was surprised, offended even, when the man spoke up. 

But he knew. 

He had known all along. 

He just didn't want to address it. 

Of course, he hadn't wanted to. 

What was he supposed to say? 

He didn't know. 

All he knew, was that he hurt and there was nothing left for him. 

Hosea has been slaughtered. 

They had shot him in the street like a rabid dog. 

Annabel had been shot. 

She had been dragged in front of him by her hair and he watched helplessly as Colm beat and shot her. 

He had caused that too. 

There had been no reason to shoot Colm's brother. 

He was a bastard, but so were most of the men in the west. 

He had failed everyone. 

He had failed those who looked up to him. 

He had failed those who needed him. 

He had failed those who loved him. 

He had failed himself.


End file.
